Friend Vent

Intro: Hey so I made an account like 10 minutes ago because I wanted to vent about an issue happening to me currently. Maybe people can provide honest  comments and feedbacks regarding the matter. I will be using fake names for privacy purposes.

Background Info: I am currently in my sophomore year of college. I have had these group of friends from middle school. There is Rebecca, Marie, Farah, and Cora. Important information to note is that my friends Farah and Cora go to the same college as me. My friend Marie goes to a college that is right across our college. While Rebecca goes to a school that is about a 45 minute drive from all of us. We are all 19 F. 

Vent: We have all been pretty close until coming to college. Issues started arising from first semester of sophomore yr. Due to everyone going to different schools it had became increasingly harder to all hangout. We had reached the month of October and our entire friend group hadn't hung out all together since the summer. Note: We probably had one successful group hangout over summer break vacation. Our group chat we all have together was becoming less and less dry. Hangouts usually consisted of myself, Farah, and Cora on our campus. Or Marie would see more of Rebecca on Rebecca's campus. Keep in mind that Marie rarely made time to see us but would take a bus or train to see Rebecca in a heart beat but alas we brushed it off. 

Our friend Marie decided to have a bday party at her dorm and invited the entire friend group. Rebecca was unable to attend. The plan was to take her photos and have a sleepover. The party was scheduled around two weeks before her birthday. The timing of the party wasn't the most convenient. Cora, Farah, and I all had major projects and exams that came right after the party. Despite this we went because we knew the party was important to our friend Marie. At the sleepover, the topic of guys is brought up. More specifically, the guys that Marie has been talking to. Marie has had a long history of talking to guys that weren't exactly the best towards her. Due to this history of crappy guys, Cora had told Marie to avoid talking to men for a month. That was a week prior to the sleepover. Despite the challenge, at the sleepover Marie revealed how she was talking to yet another guy. Cora, Farah, and I were questioning her about this specific guy. Marie let us the see the messages between her and the guy. I will not go into grave detail about the contents of these messages but they did not paint the guy nor Marie in the greatest light. Cora took over mostly and gave Marie a lecture about how she needs to stop letting guys disrespecting her. Me and Farah let Cora do most of the talking but would occasionally join in on the conversation to co sign Cora's statements. We asked her on numerous occasions is she would like the conversation to be dropped but she said for us to keep going. We thought all was fine until after the conversation had came to an end. Note: During the conversation the mood was very happy and light. We were all joking about the guys and Marie. We even recorded the interaction between Marie and Cora. Even Marie was laughing and smiling. After the convo, Marie had went mute and was barely talking to us. We would ask her if she wanted to watch a movie or play games but she should would only respond with "we can do whatever". This left us all shocked because she swore she didn't care about talking about the guys in her life. At around 5 am we eventually left and went back to our dorms. This issue would not be brought up again until tailgate. 

One day in the group chat, our friend Rebecca tries to invite the entire friend group to a tailgate. Rebecca clarified that she had intentions of possibly going to a party after this tailgate. This became slightly problematic as it was known that Cora wasn't a fan of party scenes. Our other friend Farah also had a problem with this hangout as she isn't allowed to go to parties due to religious purposes. Cora and Farah suggested making the hangout more inclusive. Rebecca said there was a possibility we wouldn't go to one. However, if she was notified of a party it would be likely that she would be attending. Hearing the news, Cora and Farah decided not to go to the tailgate as attending the party was not an option. I had no problem with the parties so I decided to tag along. Marie, Rebecca, and I all go to the tailgate. When I meet up with them we all go in Rebecca's car to go to tailgate. Rebecca brought up the birthday situation as mentioned before the conversation was recorded. She had said that the topic shouldn't have been brought up at the party. And how Marie may say she is fine when she isn't really fine. I took note what was being said but didn't exactly agree. We eventually go to tailgate but never went to a party.

I told Cora and Farah of the events that took place at tailgate. Cora heard the news of how the events at Marie's birthday party was brought up and was immediately annoyed that the issue resurfaced while she wasn't there. Her name was mentioned in the car and she felt that she should have been there to defend herself. Farah and Cora were also annoyed by the fact that we never went to a party. In their eyes, the tailgate could have been a time for us all to hang out together. This where the drama escalates. Due to a series of feeling left out and excluded. Mostly by Rebecca and Marie. Farah and Cora decided to stop talking in the group chat. They were hoping that Rebecca and Marie would maybe take notice of the silence and try to work things out but that was not the case at all. After they stopped talking no one talked in the group chat and it essentially died all together. Note: Farah and Cora did not feel like voicing their feelings about feeling left out or that Rebecca and Marie don't make enough effort to hangout with the whole group because this had been an issue for some time now that was brought up on numerous occasions with no change. 

After a few weeks of no one speaking in the group chat, Rebecca decides to contact Farah and myself. When she called me, it was very early in the morning so the conversation was left short as I woken out of my sleep to answer her call. She had asked me if Farah, Cora, and I were all okay. To which I responded that we were. She wanted to make sure and then hung up. We eventually had a more in depth conversation over text. I told Cora and Farah. Cora was hurt by Rebecca not making any attempts to contact her at all. Things also got more heated because me and Rebecca stayed in contact. Rebecca one day invites me to her campus to hang out. It ended up being for an greek like event. Rebecca had even offered to pay for my train ticket. Cora and Farah became even more upset because they never saw this effort from Rebecca for them. At this hangout, Rebecca and I talk about the tension in the group. She tells me how she has been in contact with Marie and how Marie is upset by how things turned out. Rebecca spent most of the time talking about Marie's feelings. We hung out a few more times after that. I sensed that it made Cora and Farah feel uncomfortable. But I always told them when I was going to hang out with Rebecca. They also never voiced anything to me so I decided to leave it alone. 

On a random day, Cora decides to meet up with Marie to talk about their friendship. She basically had a conversation about how she felt that Marie had an issue with her and wanted to see what was going on. Marie said she didn't have an issue and remained quiet of most of the conversation. Rebecca had brought up how Marie said she never felt that close to me, Cora, or Farah since high school. So Cora had confronted her about that. The conversation was short as Marie didn't have much to say. Cora ended her friendship with Marie then and there as she felt that Marie wanted nothing to do with her. After the conversation was done, Marie went to Rebecca and told her about the conversation. Marie had made it seem to Rebecca that Cora was being hostile in both text messages and in person. Hearing this Cora became even more frustrated. She was now upset with Rebecca and Marie as she feels that it was weird that they didn't bother to talk to her for months and felt that they were throwing away 7 years of friendship. Farah also felt the same way. 

Due to all the conflict. Rebecca and I were working together to try and have everyone meet up for a conversation in person with each other to clear the air. It has yet to happen it should happen 2/28/25. 

Cora and I got into an argument. During one of me and Rebecca's hangout's I said that she should come to our school and stay at my dorm. Rebecca recently texted me saying she could come over March 1st. The day after the conversation. I personally didn't see a problem at the time when agreeing to her coming over. I notified Farah she didn't say much. I tell Cora and she was basically saying how I was disrespecting her boundaries because she told me once that Rebecca was banned from our dorm hall. When she told me this the first time I thought she was joking. Because to ban someone from a dorm hall, not a suite, or a room, but an entire building was ludicrous to me. I tried to have a conversation with her but she had such little patience for it. I turned to Farah about the matter asking her advice. She explained that it would be weird to have her over considering Cora and I are neighbors. Not only that but there is no way of telling how the conversation can go and if it gets ugly it would be weird for her to come over. I understood that part. I said that I wouldn't have her come over after the conversation. But I did question what would happen if I ever wanted to invite her to my dorm in the future and she said it was still out the question. I don't like being told I can't have her over for a multiple reasons. 1) I feel like I am being bossed by someone who has no authority over me it. 2) Rebecca and I have been friends for 8 years and is like a sister to me and I don't want to stop being friends with her because it makes Cora and Farah uncomfortable. 

After messaging Farah for what seemed like forever, in the middle of our conversation she revealed that Cora and her do in fact feel uncomfortable with me hanging out with her. When I visit her it s a problem and if she visits me its also a problem. I understand having issues with Rebecca however, they don't realize their issue with me and her having a friendship of any kind would result in me having to choose and I simply will not. The argument with Farah and Cora happened yesterday. I am not really talking to anyone right now. 

If someone can give their feedback at all I would appreciate it. I was feeling really down past 24 hrs. I didn't have anyone to go to about this issue as everyone I could go to was involved in the matter.