02/16/25

IAm angel. It is not apart of my first name but apart of my middle though I will not disclose in depth, lala is also okay for this sort of audience, Such. If I could say who I am in one word, 

IAm very considerably ill but also considerably functional, it is very heart wrenching on a day to day basis but that’s not very interesting to the average person so I will talk about other things 

I like angels and the concept of them. To relate to, to just analyze. To decipher. Etc. Very possessive over the image of them, perhaps because I am ill. But I feel like I am made to be guided by them. My views of religion may stray far from others, I believe loosely in a god but some form of angels. That isn’t truly important though.

Four leaf clovers are nice. I like the way the carousel spins. How doves are the symbol of love. When people wear plaid. The many dots a ladybug has. When peacocks walk around the zoo. A lot of jewelry. I would like to read an Ispy book. When I was a child I thought I was meant to be a jaguar. I like fruit themed items or well items that are made to look like other items. I have a love of matryoshka dolls, there’s a shop in chicago ( just about over an hour away ) inside the Hilton that sells them. Very delighted when I got the chance to step in there, truly like heaven. 

I am mildly irritated, I don’t feel much so i’m not sure how that is on a scale. I could be light as a feather but heavy soaking wet all at the same time, how silly. How silly. I so desperately need a break. There is someone always in my hair. Always Someone. 

I am extremely fond of the one person that I actually would like to bother me. Though I have grown out of talking about my feelings on the internet except in a way that is very, how do I say, poetic? I do not like to site my love in a way that is too brash and unthought worthy. Because I would like the object of my affection to read over every word and understand the how the wires in my brain spark together for them. Spark like lighters, spark like fabric on skin, Etc. I think so much about this, sickening I find it. He melts my body and gives me vertigo and heart burn, im not sure it’s too good for me but I am practically buzzing when he is next to me. 

I have nothing else to say truly. That is me, at least for today. Thank u for reading.