07-sunday february 16th 8:41 pm

okay.... made one of these and then. tried to insert too many images. so ill write it again sure. and cut out that section anyway. not necessary. So hello. hi its been a little bit. i freaked out and quit social media kinda. so okay what happened was i drew a picture YAYY its been a while. it did predictably bad. all my posts do but i realized holy shit i hated posting that all it did was feel bad. and posting in general! just makes me anxious. afraid someone is going to. come to my house and cringe. (<- reference to old tumblr post of MINE). so i should quit! so ive quit posting entirely. i quit instagram totally because it sucks and theres no real way to NOT look at some random post. even twitter is better about that and i do get sucked into the for you page of twitter (my fault im bored as hell) which i hate but i had to click on the tab! i didnt just.... open twitter! i mean it often starts on that tab but i open twitter FOR the people i follow yknow. anyway. so i quit instagram entirely. (partially because... and i know this is super mentally ill and stupid and bad of me... i wonder how long it will take for someone to notice i stopped posting? and like ask about it? wonder if i.... went... somewhere.... mentally ill guy. not online or looking at stories or posting...... look. i know. but partially because of the reasons i said okay.) so anywayyy. my posting energy has gone to a notes app. nothing is REALLY worth saving. a couple ill expand on here.

i got like 4 posts about how people who dislike spam liking are fuckign evil so i took it out of my bio and pinned post but ill still block you. like same fuckin people with dni if your fav color is red but i cant dislike some fakey ass interaction "im having funnn on your account haha" girl i get the notifications 2 seconds apart it doesnt feel like youre having fun. it feels like you want a story shout ot. WHY DIDNT YOU FOLLOW or comment or ANYTHING else hmmmm? "im shy" not shy enough to not clog my notifications. "hmm back in MY day we shouted people out for this" yes and back in MY day i always felt like thats why people did it in the first place but whatever fuck me!! idk i dislike fakey interactions im the tumblr user who dislikes likes but in my fucking defense 15 likes and no reblogs. feels bad. feels like nobody wants to share your work. this is reblog website but my art isnt good enough. 2000 fuckin note people complaining about this ofc you dont care. YOU GET REBLOGS. obvi nothing will actually satisfy me but COME ON. 2000 note people are the same ones who dont care about spam liking bc they dont know anyone who likes their posts. I DO. i look at every god damn blog bc i dont get that many notes and have the time. not like to scrutinize them just to look. im bored. anyway. being a small artist sucks. omg this was really bad when i saw one of the "guys if youre putitng reblogs > likes on your post youre literally stupid nobody has to support you :/" next to people complain about people not commenting on fics. like nobody gives a shit about the artist and NOBODY gives a shit about the visual artist and people ACTIVELY HATE the oc artist. i guess ill. go somewhere..... sorry this is SO WHINEY i just hate all of it. but why ive stopped posting i guess. one more "I LOVE OCSSS" post my mutual reblogged next to MY FUCKING POST OF MY OCS they ignored. i cant do it anymore. has me saying like "guys im sorry if you liked seeing my posts and its nobodys job to like my posts and support me but im going to stop posting im really sorry" THEY DONT EVEN LIKE YOU. they do not care enough to pretend to like you. they didnt care to pretend to like you the first time you threatened to stop posting dont you DARE post "oh... hey guys haha sorry to be whiney but if youre interested in my posts can you like this post or shoot me an ask haha......" because youll just be disappointed.

okay okay. okay sorry my other post was like about fahrenheit vs celcius and how americans are really annoying about it? why do americans think fahrenheit is better. like even metric liking americans. "F is for humans C is for water!!" what. no. if it was "for humans" it would be words..... RIGHT??? no F is only intuitive for people who learned it do you think people who use C are just confused all the time. do you think they look at 25 degrees and go "hmmm well. see if i was water this would be chilly compared to boiling but i am not so i dont know hmm" no they think wow a pleasant day. are you stupid???? "hmm theres not enough difference between temperature. i mean 25 degrees C is 77 F, but 26C is almost 79F!" right because the difference between 77F and 79F is SO big i HAVE to know the difference. 77F is a cool summer breeze but 79F is a warm spring day! (idk if thats true). "its percentage hot" you are REACHINGGG you understand 50% hot is like as arbitrary as 10 degrees C right. "Well you europeans-" im american. YEAHHH you thought i may not be because i was going around it but no I was raised in fahrenheit. i also dont know what 77 feels like because its not like intuitive you have to learn it. also. fahrenheit is hard to spell. which is why i switched to F really quick idk how to spell it i only can today becuase i looked it up. (psst europe and canada arent the only countries on earth other than america btw i could be from anywhere. yes even though im writing english its really telling when you assume nonamericans are only europeans.)

omg i have 22 drafts on my tumblr sideblog i was seeing if i had something else. i had a couple things a lot of these are about like sex stuff which i cant do here. hmm a lot of posts about transmisogyny i mostly have to get them off my chest. i make the point but then its not like. fixed so i have to make 12 posts about it and dont post them LOL. my ex bf said i friendzoned him. jesus i forgot about that. i didnt post it because im a little paranoid he still looks at that account. hygeine stuff (you ever think about how you (presumably) pull up your pants after wiping but before you wash your hands. nobody talks about how your jeans are probably pretty gross. not that i personally care but i will continue to wear outside clothes on my couch until this is addressed. sorry.) the time i got really mad about someone i follow complaining about misandry because he saw his trans woman friend say... i dont even remember. and he ran with it and called all of the people she was talking about terfy misandrists even though she said they were mostly trans women and explicitly not terfs. pissed me off so bad i made 40 posts about how i you can trust a cis person as far as you can throw them. i really hate the idea that terfs hate MEN and not... trans women..... like hating men CAN be a part of it but its really less of the point. posey parker the adult human female lady. does not hate men! she wants men on her side against trans women! and trans men too but its never usually the big thing unless its sad posting about how the poor little girls are being transed :( we have to stop big trans (woman) from transing our daughters. idk. terfs will often enjoy being away from men, hate men, but theyre fighting TRANS PEOPLE. and not because they see trans people as men, but because they are TRANS PEOPLE. yknow.

 and then one final one i made today about the homestuck beyond canon update with sollux, where i was like "ugh theyre chadifying sollux this is really cringe" and multiple people were like "HE WAS ALWAYS LIKE THAT you litereally didnt read the comic". which is so stupid hes a grown man now he shouldnt talk like a cool online 13 year old ratioing someone. he should not be talking about getting bitches. it was cringe. he also wasnt like that. i think they latched on to me saying he was a "chad" now, and assumed i meant "sollux is an incel". which is not it at all. id be upset if they inceled sollux too. i meant sollux is like a person. not the chad archetype. sollux didnt get bitches he was friends with girls. i mean jesus christ. "sollux dated two girls and eridan dated none" sollux had friends because he was likable and funny and eridan was a racist misogynist. sollux barely explicily dated the girls. aradia was his friend, who vriska, to aradia, to make fun of her before she killed her, called her boyfriend. feferi was his friend, who LATER he said was his matesprite as ERISOLSPRITE. the point wasnt that sollux got bitches. the point was that sollux had friends and was a poor little meow meow for feferi to dote over tbh