being a wannabe instrumentalist with no true drive is actually hell 👎

every time i listen to a really really freaking awesome guitar solo or performance in general my heart starts to hurt so fricken bad because I WANT TO CREATE SOMETHING THAT BEAUTIFUL TOO!!! I WANT TO DO THAT TOO!!!!!!! 💔

but i never ever fucking practice man. i just sit on my ass depressed all day…you would think a heart shattering guitar solo/melody like this would be like, motivating or something, but it just isn’t, because in reality, when you’re a beginner, practicing is just so repetitive and boring…after switching between two beginner chords over and over again several times a day, and playing the bass part from seven nation army like 35 times in a row, the magic of the instrument just kind of starts to disappear…😢

how do you get motivated to stop dreaming, and actually start doing?! when the progress is so painfully slow??? i just can’t do it!!!! ☹️

this time it was the guitar intro, outro, and solo in the song この世界に二人だけ written by ano, and arranged by regal lily. it’s not even anything that crazy, but the melody is just so beautiful. it’s sort of a simple creation, but i couldn’t have done it myself, and i just can’t stop thinking about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and either way, if it wasn’t this song, it’d just be a different one. because this happens all the time. from ano, to number girl, to fucking jimmy hendrix, the dreaming never ends…