"Force yourself to be creative" guy has finally hit a creative block (suddenly forcing myself doesn't work)

These past weeks have been absolutely dreadful in terms of creativity, and mood, but I’m ignoring that one. For about 4 years I've started to live by "forcing yourself" in terms of being creative or just getting shit done, rather than relying on inspiration (or whatever else they wait for /derogative). Shovel shit to hit gold Thinker (it's pyrite). But I'm in some kind of creative block where even forcing myself is not working as it used to. There's more to say about the whole "force yourself" approach to creativity, I digress it works for my personality (8w7, xntp, chad, space racist), and in dissonance, simultaneously believe a lot of people would actually benefit from if they just forced themselves to do the thing they want to do.

I am still doing creative things, it's just writing, way more than usual. Even then it’s not proper prose it’s more plotting events of a story, and walls were hit and half broken down--the page has gotten fat I enjoy looking at it all scrolled out, its probably half done. Primarily a visual artist so when I'm not making Picture I start to wonder if the world is evil. When I go to draw it garbage ideas or I psych myself out and get nothing done. 

It'll fix itself eventually of course, the real danger is when the feeling of “there’s no point” prevents the pencil from even reaching the hand. It’s just frustrating to not have anything to post, or to have anything beyond homework to show for the week. Reading Blood Meridian and watching Succession to revitalize myself perhaps? Peace and love (of which these two media promote of course). I think it’s all paying off in the end, yesterday found two topics to create illustrations to that I’m willing to shovel through. Maybe. Maybe. Knock on wood.

anyways lemur