I waant my dream style so badly

i wanna be alt, but not too much, i wanna be in the middle. a bit of a grunge look. AND I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DO COOL MAKEUP. i need to thrift moreee. i need more baggy clothes and shirts. i need affliction shirts and jncoss. idk if thats grunge or not but i want a dark palette clothes ish.