zpeaking about what comez to mind… TW : MENTION OF SH !!

i dont know ab u guyz butzz…i have this random thought of cvtting w my bf… i azked him about it and he zaid no… but i juzt ztill can’t ztop thinking ab itttzzz !!! (╥﹏╥) yez i know im very ill in the head for thinking ab that but im ill-chan anywayzzz!! I’ve tried to get many helpzzz but they all ended up making it worze for meezzz ! my old teacherz and new teacherz , copz , cpz , therapiztz , my friendz , multiple pzychologiztz… they all prezzure ill-chan way too muchzzz and ill-chan keepz having panic attackz and mental breakdownz infront of them… (so embarrassing) !!! ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) … im trying to get away from my pazt name zo people dont rlly recognize meezzz , letz juzt zay that I’ve had quite a past with zome…people…but i feel more comfortable talking about myzelf herezzz !!! everyone here zeemez zo nice but im zcared to talk to them firzt… plez friend meezzz !!! (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝)