i want someone to love so bad

but then again, i cant find that right person ,, it feels stupid . i know i have a chance with atleast a few people, but for SOME DAMN REASON i cannot open up to people unless we 'click' i hate it!!!!!! i hate it!!!!!!! i have a crush on this girl, i wanted to ask her out for valentines day .. only to find out shes spending it with a friend . whatever . ok . its not like me and her arent friends but ok . i hate it .. because when i DO find someone i like, im always the 10th choice !!! not even third, fourth, TENTH!!!!! when . shes literally my first . it makes me really sad, i really wish i had more friends, i really wish i had someone to love, and someone who'd love me back