the old me

i used to cringe a lot at my older self, thinking about how stupid i was, and about i totally woudn't do the stupid things i did now that i am more mature. but today i found my journal of when i was 13, and i saw a very different version of myself

i used to deal so easily with situatuons that today would be such a burden. I was confident enough to do things that today i would try the hardest to avoid. i was very opitmistic, even at the worst moments, while today is very easy to put me in a bad mood.

and i was wondering, what went wrong? how did i got that worse? and maybe, it was the fact that i matured. 

growing up and gaining more experience made me better in some ways, now i know to don't do again some dumb things i did when i was younger, because now i know it's going to put me in a bad situation. but it also made me lose that confidence and fearlness that i had, because now i know how awful the world can be.

people always say that, while you grow, you mature more, thus becaming a better person day by day, but, after reading my old diary, i don't think that's totally true. maybe, while you become better in some aspects you end becoming worse at others. Is like a win-lose situation.

i don't know if this makes sense at all but it has been on my mind a lot and i need to put it out somewhere.

-carol