gamifying romance and sexuality

This is by far the most prevalent in straight men, but bisexual/pansexual men can have misogynistic biases towards the women they're attracted to as well.

"If a guy gets lots of girls, he’s respected, he’s got rizz. But if a girl does that, she’s a [you know what word]. It’s just a basic social construct" - A reddit comment I found. Censorship added.

The concept of "rizz" has become a new age way of describing the goal of connecting to women being dating. Romance is set to begin before any declaration of feelings is made and often before even speaking a word (ever heard of class crushes?) 

This is natural because people tend to be attractive, but as a consequence of gamifying atttraction to a science, human connection is treated as a game.


I recall a friend telling me about how he envy's his friends romance capabilities by saying things like "he's got this figured out." That's usually something you would expect from a single guy, but he wasn't, he was just talking like his friend was #1 on the boyfriend leaderboards where your score is measured by the amount of joy and whimsy you can bring to your partner.

It seemed so odd to me that my friend could think "oh yeah, this is how it ought be done" when he didn't even know the preferences and interests of his friend's girlfriend.

"Rizz" and gamifying relationships acts the same way. If a man has an ideal conclusion in mind for every single straight or bi/pansexual woman he meets than this will in turn lead to it being seen as a challenge whenever traditional "rizz" and ways of making the other person want to date you don't work.

Gamification of romance and sexuality acts like a play that others are not invited into but are coerced to attend anyways if they want to take part in socialization. You just pray that the other person enjoys the show.

When we're putting on a social performance we always generally assume the other person's preferences (e.g. what do people find funny, engaging, helpful, amusing), but it becomes objectifying when we eagerly assume the other person has the very specific interest of attraction.

Happy Valentine's Day.