Sending maleficent vibes to you for valentines day this very instant

I am the biggest hater on this site, I am an empath wizard and I am beaming misfortune, malaise and social bungles to YOU telepathically in order to RUIN your valentines day. Jupiter is in retrograde thus further amplifying my power so there shall be no doubts regarding the certainty of my imposed will!

You will not acquire courtship nor "love" on the date of its very celebration for I alone have afflicted the earth with an evil spell, purging all the love from the air!

You very readers are fated to fumble the bad bitch at walgreens, finishing the day alone pondering the orb and strangling the poulty in your resting area, it will all be by my hand.