Journal Entry #122: 02/11/25 - Concerns and Anxieties

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The rest of the past week was alright. I finished my test and went to a few organizational meetings. I also finished my first coding assignment for software construction with healthy success. Things are going okay. It's nice that this past week has been relatively uneventful since the start of my semester was relatively chaotic and busy. I was supposed to receive some packages from my grandmother, but they have yet to still arrive. However, all of them say they have. So...where are they? It's been over a week. Is my apartment's mailroom really that bad? Sheesh. I'm so glad I'm moving someplace else.

So, the title is concerns and anxieties for a reason. Being 20 is a little scary. I feel behind compared to my peers. I've literally never worked for pay before and it's starting to drive me nuts a little, unfortunately. The job market in general is crappy right now and people's online posts are discouraging. I'm also dealing with turmoil inside of myself. My self-confidence is not high, my motivation and career-related discipline are low, and I don't put much effort into networking, which can get you a job despite your gaps in skill and knowledge. The career fair's next week...I need to find a job! I don't want to deviate from the four-year plan I made for myself. I've also been on edge, even though my classes are fine, I have plenty of money, and I have a place to stay and food to eat. I guess I'm not taking good care of myself.

The weather here has been quite warm, but it's about to cool down again. Considering we're now officially in late winter, hopefully, this cold only lasts for about half a month or so. Spring is forecast to be quite wet where I live and warm. Unfortunately, that means severe weather will be quite rampant. Thankfully I live on the Eastern side of the state, so the weather shouldn't be too bad for me. I can tell it's getting lighter earlier in the morning, which is wonderful, though that will change when we hit DST. 

In March, I'm going to a conference with the student org I work for. It's in Chicago so I'm super excited! So many interesting and diverse people and industries will be there. I'm a little nervous and I'm trying to figure out the logistics of being absent for nearly an entire week, that week being the week before spring break. A lot of my professors aren't great at letting me know what's going on weeks in advance. 

This past weekend, I spent some time with a friend of mine playing Overcooked! 2 which was fun. It requires a lot of teamwork to get a good score! I ended up using my "one free month of Xbox PC Game Pass" to play the game. Microsoft is so greedy. I still had to give them my credit card information. I need to remind myself to terminate the subscription. I may keep it until I move into my new apartment and set up my Xbox One, and set up whatever they call Xbox Gold now.

Oh, I also downloaded AIM, and I now have an AOL email. I have my app connected to Chiva Net's server, but it's experiencing technical difficulties. Some of the chats are dead, but it's interesting to toy around with such an old app. It would be cool to get into digital preservation. Things like AIM and other old software and services need to be documented and kept for the sake of the Internet's history.

Anyway, that's all for now. Hopefully I go to sleep earlier tonight, I have a meeting in the morning.

Boa noite,

AstraGenesis ᯓ★

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