happy birthday.

Here I sat in my room, writing this blog at exactly 11:13 pm on February 11, 2025. It'll be my birthday in the next hour.

I don't know whether they'd throw a surprise party for me tomorrow, considering they did that to every member of our circle. I shouldn't expect it, but I just wish they'd show how much they care about me:( Days ago, they made me feel like I wasn't even a part anymore. They left when I was at my most vulnerable moment. But this friend that I have? He never judged me for feeling like that. So, I'm thinking, even if my friends left me, it's alright, as long as I have him.

So earlier, I asked my mom if it was alright if I went fetch coffee with him for a bit since it was my birthday and he wanted to treat me. Mom said no, I mean I get it, we also had plans, but I just wanna go with my friend for my birthday, I understand my mom, but he was my only friend, I just wanna celebrate it with him, just for a while. 

It's now currently 11:30 pm, and I can't stop crying, I feel bad for my mom, but I also feel bad for my friend. I was looking forward to our little hangout. I just wanna enjoy my day without any tears yet here I am. I wanna rest, I don't think I wanna celebrate anymore.