Wanting to love, but i have no one for that

Valentines is coming up and, as every year from the start od my life i have no one to celebrate it with.

I just want to love somebody, i just want to know that theres someone out there that loves me as deeply as i can love them. I want to kiss some pretty girl and cuddle her for my entire life, i want to take her out on dates and buy her flowers whenever i can, and of course, tell her how much i sheeans to me.

Its gotten so bad that it started to physicaly heart, my head starts to hurt and i feel like my heart is being torn apart at the seams.

I can barely watch when some of my friends are with there girlfriends, i have a friend whoes in a relationship and there geniuenly very cute and im happy for them, but i still have to shorten anything with them while there together cause i get so sad and jealous like in a way"how can he have a girlfrined but i cant"  and i just dont wnat them seeing that.

I started working part time as a photo editer and i got my first paycheck, i wa ssad because i couldnt use my paycheck to spoil some girl, i'd rather that then buying for myself.

Thats all, i just realy need to write ut down or im geniuenly going to be ill because of this.