hehehe crushinggng

lmaooo i fucking hate liking people. but sm times igg u do and u cant help it

uh well im gonnabe fr idk whether what im writing is what im writing but we'll see. i probably shouldn't refer to u with ur actual name, itll be a real buzzkill if u found out so hmm cwtsh. thats what ill give u. it means a hug, a safe space. i really do consider you a safe space, which is crazy im so bipolar i always love and hate but for you i get funny and comforted? 

i shouldn't bring it in chronological but you were staring into my eyes, and oh my ur eyes were darker than nightsky in this modern century. but it didnt scare me. it were like you were ready to swallow me whole and like me? it wants me. u told me u trying to creep me out, but to truth: my heart went thump thump thump. id like to think the stars appeared as you let out a smile that stuck and never took off me. im so awkward i couldnt keep contact. i broke it many times but i wanted to look back into them. and maybe drown in the peace i saw.

what i wrote above, the letter addressed to u, it seems so wholesome and simple but my heart is never so simple. i have many thoughts for you and about; i dont know what i want to tell you. i just wonder why.. why me cwtsh, im so vague and unideal. im worser and worsened than before, i feel like im about to fall but for some reason i want you to be there. i want you to see my glass shatter and i want you to get cut on those shards. im not okay and you still want to be here. so why, i cant see a reason to believe so.

i think were a perfect match: your flaws and mine, they bond and entertwine yet never quite touch.

were so similar and so far away please dont go. i cant bring myself to say what id do. im flickering so hard right now i cant promise ill stay quiet. ill bring myself a mess and beg like broke. ill get on my knees and plead: i dont want u to ever leave.

i think a lot of people dont understand how close were are and what we think. maybe megan would know, and only her. and id love for others to ponder it but i want you to myself not yandere or possesive but i dont want you to change ur mind about me.

ure always on my side and youre never bored by that. you might be my wonderwall heh.. but even so i dont know what intentions i have for you. i just dont want u out of my life.

the vorfreude, its a noun not a feeling, but i see you.

this isnt love, atleast i hope its not because i dont want to destroy this with you or anything else which could be selfish on my behalf but i think im okay as long as ur by side with me.

thats so short, i wanted to say i love how i can make you laugh, and i love how i can make you blush. i hope its for me. thats what my insides want. you make it worth while for once. i like it.