Employee of the month

I'm the bitch with the parking spot let's goooo

ig it's nice to finally be recognized. My boss's boss sent me a message saying " You remind me of a velociraptor testing the boundaries of your enclosure" so i think work is going pretty damn good. My lifetime accuracy is second only to some anonymous goat at 99.98% and i keep getting 4's on my quarterly reviews. 

but at the end of the day, i want more. I want to leave this company twice as efficient as it was when i started and that means i need a promotion or two. good thing people like me and i'm so good at socializing huh?