Old Heartbreak

I think I have been pondering my whole life. 

I yearn for a life where I can just live.

And not have to worry about a thing.

I still think of her sometimes,

even though I don't have feelings anymore.

The scent of her perfume lingers in the halls,

catching me off guard.

Was it casual when you let me lie my head on your exposed collarbone?

Was it casual when you let press gentle kisses along the crook of your neck?

Was it even casual when you held me, even while you were asleep?

But I guess it's what you do with all your friends, isn't it?

I wonder if you think about me sometimes,

and if you'll ever apologize.