spewl

my whole life ive been asking this age old question of if there's some higher power waiting for me when my wings finally melt in the sun and i come crashing down. ive got years of Christian trauma i mean god was never my friend, my whole life i heard how people like me would rot in a eternal flame. if thats so i hope i burn well right next to them and that god they all hold so dear. ive gone back to my roots in paganism i mean ive tried everything i find so much meaning in spirituality and the other side yet am utterly terrified that belief is not enough to save me once im damned, we are all damned! damned to die and rot in silly holes or little urns not me i will flourish in damnation! I WILL FLOURISH IN DEATH LIKE I COULDNT IN LIFE, i will find peace in my burns in my pain. i will return to nature i will become the atoms that makeup everything you touch ill grow and change into the weeping trees the fungi i will be eternal.