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Big Bad Blog 11/25/2021

Today is Thanksgiving day. I honestly am too bad off financially for the first time in years to make a turkey, which is funny because everyone would think I'm rolling in dough with all the photoshoots I do. It's a complex thing running your own business from home with 2-disabled babies, full-time. Everything is a gamble and every bit of free time you have to spend feels like you have to invest it into something that will bring you profit. 


When you're not working and you have time for you, you have to spend it incredibly wisely like money, itself. Juggling priorities of time between family, chores, errands, obligations, work, and play. I barely have time for me, and the time I do convince myself to have, I still tell myself I can sell whatever I'm working on to de-stress (like a painting). Because it becomes a project, I put it on a shelf, never to be finished, to always be art. An interesting cycle an artist is accustomed to. 

Today I spent a lot of time cleaning in a meditative way. I took some time from my social medias, my phone, and even my projects-- and just cleared up some space for me to be in and work more easily. This will make it a little easier to jump from project to project (from work to play). Hopefully I can monetize my work pretty soon, working full time without a guaranteed pay out gets pretty disheartening at times, but I've felt incredibly motivated, lately. I wish my physical body followed suit (I've unfortunately been pretty sore). 

In the next few days my cosplay will be finished, and perhaps I can do a more lax mini-shoot to uplift myself about some of the results I'll see after all of this hard work. I know the light is near, I can see it gleaming on the edge, I just have to push through these bouts of hardship so I can focus on the positive things in store for me.

Change is coming soon,
- Big Bad Wolff


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