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My name is Alex. I'm 21, I'll be 22 in March, and I live in Canada, and I spend my days with my eyes glued to novels.

As an English major I spend my time studying not just novels of today, but novels of the past, and the lives of those who wrote. We as a society feel such an increasing shame around writing, mainly because we share so much of our lives online that even if we keep what we write hidden beyond measure, we expect someone to find it, someone to know.

While that fear is understandable, I want to overcome that idea. I want to destroy that shame, and as someone who already has a personal journal where I scribble when I'm mad or upset or write in this stupid, pretty handwriting when I'm overjoyed, I want to challenge the shame we feel.

Our ancestors, especially our female ancestors, fought very long and hard to have an education, to be able to read and write, let alone publish. And today I feel it's something we take for granted, especially since there are plenty of women all around the world who are still being denied education.

So consider this day one of publicizing my thoughts. Every entry will remain public no matter how personal or graphic in order to challenge the shame we've developed. At least, my own shame anyway.

02/06/2025 - 12:42 AM

I thankfully don't have school tomorrow. Lord knows I need a break from those college classes. Not that I hate my profs, they're lovely people and I've been working with them for four years, but reading 24/7 and scribbling quick notes so I don't lose my momentum begins to make a persons eyes bleed and wrists ache after a while.

Me and a friend are heading to a concert tonight. I started getting really anxious about what to wear, so I tried on a few outfits and stared at myself in the mirror for a while, trying to decide whether or not I looked good, and if I felt comfortable enough. I don't normally go to concerts, let alone bar concerts, the statistics in my area deter me from really doing much, but everyone needs to go out once in a while, right? And who knows, I'm sure I'll have a good time. Besides, I'll be with a friend, so everything will be okay. If something happens, at least I won't be alone to deal with it, right?

I know I'm not the only one with that fear. The fear of going out and something bad happening. It's not like I avoid going out entirely, I think it's just because I REALLY don't wanna become a statistic again. But if I wanna have the memories I wanna have during these "vital" (yeah right) years of my life, I have to get over my fear. I just wish the world wasn't so unsafe for people like me.

But hey, we raw dog it I guess.

I spent a couple of hours on Spacehey already fiddling with my profile, and in turn, smashing my head against the desk. I don't understand how people make it look so easy. Or maybe I'm just dumb.

No it's definitely just being a dumbass.