DIARY: derealizing from everything

derealizing from everything

I’m back, again.

It’s the 4th of February, and it’s around 11 pm. I am currently working on a personal project alongside making alliediaries a thing. I hope more people read these.

Yesterday felt like a dream. And it felt like it didn’t happen.

I’m unsure what that means other than i dissociated from reality. As i’m writing this and recalling yesterday, more of it feels like a blur. And the crazier i sound describing what i think happened. I don’t care what other people think about me, nor do i wanna ”fit in”. But i do care about myself because i am the only person in my own head. But it doesn’t feel like me anymore. Is it the medicine? Probably. Or maybe i have finally lost it. Haha.

I don’t exactly know what it is people find intriguing about me. I don’t hate myself, but why would someone wanna be my friend? I barely know what describes my mood. Isn’t that supposed to be weird? Or maybe i’m cool and smart. People ask me why I send these diaries and illustrations to them. I don’t know. Maybe it’s therapeutic.

I just want you to know me in case i don’t know myself anymore.