I couldn't help but wonder, will I always be an insufferable, gatekeeping hypocrite?

Theres a specific kind of stomach sinking frustration I feel when I hear someone mention an interest that i’ve built a piece of my identity around. Instead of feeling supported or glad that someone else also values the beauty in it, I feel discredited or I have an instinct to say, “You’re not even bout that like I am” as if my appreciation has layers deeper than theirs(my complex says it does thats not a question.) However, I have always presented myself to be a walking mosaic of all the people I’ve met. I make my tea the way my dad always did, pour my heart out to songs shazamed from everyone I’ve met, claim my favorite tv show as the one my cousin begged me to start watching in 2018 and bought the same perfumes as my mom all my life. I exist as a patchwork of influences and borrowed things, a stiched together version of everyone who has ever left a piece of themselves with me. And I admire that, so why do I resent it when someone adopts a song or interest I thought was mine or wears a brand I once considered a personal signature? Maybe its because I want to be authentic? To have something that I’m remembered for, and ironically I want to be remembered for being passionate. 

Am I really losing pieces of myself when someone else loved the things I loved or am I just afraid of realizing that nothing was ever really mine to begin with? Sure, it is more beautiful to be part of a group or fanbase, but thats kind of not what I’m talking about. Rather than finding people who shares my love for certain things, I find myself irritated with those who are just beginning to discover them. It’s not about the shared interest itself, it’s the feeling that something so personal to me has been diluted or claimed by others who don’t understand the depth of my connection. Maybe it’s not about gatekeeping, but rather wanting to maintain the authenticity and raw connection I have with these things without feeling like its significance is being lessened by someone else’s newfound interest. Though who am I to present myself as a walking mosaic of all the people I’ve met when I can’t even admit that mosaic is being threaded by others who love the same thing? When recently I’ve been threading into it with new interests that I could’ve gotten on board with years ago? How am I even supposed to say; og Bob Dylan fans don’t come for me because I just started liking him even though if I was you I’d do so?