Fucking valentine for introvert

Well, fuck...Valentine's Day is just 10 days away. It’s one of those days that seems so insignificant when you think about it, but somehow, it carries this massive weight. A day that’s supposed to "strengthen" the love between two teenagers/adults or, let’s be real, give teenagers an excuse to fall into some hormone-driven, puppy-love nonsense. 

But here’s the kicker i hate: I’ve never experienced love from someone else. Yeah, I’ve tried. I’ve even sabotaged my own chances, like some self-destructive idiot. Three times, I’ve mustered up the courage to confess my feelings to someone after getting to know them. And three times, I’ve been rejected. It’s like I’m cursed or something. That gave me axciety from talking

At school, my  friends joke about us not having a girlfriend. I laugh along with them, but deep down, it’s eating away at me. 

Every day, I see couples holding hands or kissing, and it’s like a punch to the gut. The worst part? The desperation. 

I swear to God, if any girl showed me even a little more attention than just the friendly kind, I’d probably fall for her instantly. But then I’m terrified that I wouldn’t be able to offer her anything to keep the relationship going. It’s this constant cycle of hope and fear, and it’s exhausting.

The only thing keeping me from collapsing in a corner and crying my eyes out every day is the thought that this is all part of "God’s plan." That maybe, just maybe, God is preparing me for something greater. I pray every morning and night, but honestly, it feels like I’m just talking to a wall. Still, I keep trying. 

Advice:

Think about it this way: if you’re feeling like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of rejection, loneliness, or failure, maybe it’s because God’s trying to teach you something.

Ps: One More Thing… I’m an Introvert Who Just Wants Affection (Is That Too Much to Ask?