I dont understand

its just so difficult for me to understand. I don't get how people can just know, say or even write how they feel, what they want. I know I've done it before but its not the same. for me theres never anything behind it, its just there. empty hopes, empty dreams. There are so many things people do that i just dont know how. People will explain and even say how but I just dont get it. I mean yeah I can dream, i can want something with all my heart but for whatever reason, i just never can. All I do is nothing unless im forced. I just dont get it. My emotions are one of the biggest missing pieces in my own puzzle and i dont know how to describe them other than simple terms. So how the hell can I tell people how I feel when I don't even know the answer myself. I may create characters that probably represent myself deep down but its not the same. They stay the same, they dont have to grow up. They're limited to the confinement of the story I create, the story starts, it ends, and it starts all over again. and yeah im able to recognise that they probably do express whats on my mind but its not easy to understand it. 

I want to do so many things but how can i do them if i cant evem do the thing i want most. everything I want, everything i need, everything, its all so far out of my reach because actually getting up and doing anything, at all, feels bad.