My ever-long mind war

I thought i was comfortable knowing how fast things can change. I mean it's one thing when this happens to someone else but when it happens to you. it really throws you off. i feel weird. It feels like my flowers been picked from the ground and hung to dry. Like ive lost my spark. I see a visible change too. My eyes dark and red. I see myself going back into that dark place after so much to get myself out. I know im what's keeping me here. My ever-long mind war.