The Benefits of Having an Arch Nemesis

I need an academic rival again. I haven't had one in years.

The second semester of [BLANK] University has reminded me how much I enjoy a social, teeming environment. Even if I don't talk to everyone, I enjoy just being around people. However, despite all going pretty well, I have been feeling some kind of lack. Like something is missing from my life that I definitely had before-- and if I had it would motivate me creatively. It's mostly had to do with my motivation to work on personal projects that in the past I would've had no problem taking on. But recently, not only have I not been able to put plans into motion but I can't even think of any good ideas in the first place. Even if I did, I just can't get excited about it. Drawing pad? Empty. Short stories? Forget about it! Nothing is coming to me. Whether I want to admit that part of it is because I maybe feel like I am amateur at best, I just know that this isn't the overarching problem. Even when I had that insecurity in the past it never stopped me from producing an influx of art, video, and writing. So what's missing you ask? Well, I've figured it out. 

I need an arch nemesis. I need to make enemies and keep them close. 

That probably sounds wild. An arch nemesis is someone people try to avoid encountering. They're diabolical, they wish to torment you! Besides, nobody actually has those, right?  That's some James Bond type of thing. And to that I say: I guarantee at some point in your life, whether you knew it or not, you had a nemesis. 

It could have been your younger/older sibling that you competed with to be the more impressive child. It could have been an upstanding coworker that loved to be better than you but never admitted it to your face. Or (if you had it like me), you had an academic rival in school that made learning become something so unnecessarily cutthroat that it was no longer about learning but BEING BETTER THAN THEM. 

That was my arch nemesis. We were similar in what we wanted out of school. We wanted to show off, improve, and make a name for ourselves that would outshine the others. The problem? There were two of us. And when you put two go-getters in the same class, you better believe they will get acquainted in a snap. Sometimes they combine forces. Most often they do not. I refused to. 

This was a pattern I experienced all the way up until high school. There was always someone who I felt I had to bring down because they didn't realize there was another force to be reckoned with among them. I couldn't explain to you why I felt I needed to be better than them. All I knew was that it was the most motivating force I had ever experienced in my life. My grades were consistently excellent. I didn't care if it brought me anguish and turmoil. The outcome of finally reaching slightly past their level made it all pale in comparison. It was so. Worth it.

So for the longest time, I unknowingly valued the presence of people who enjoyed the same things as me and acknowledged a mutual perception of competition for recreational activities. I even imposed that dynamic between me and my cousin! I was an artist, she was an artist. I liked to craft, she liked to craft. She... was really good-- and you can just imagine the determination I had in my soul to be as good at her. But it was never resentment when I came short, just frustration. And when I look back, I think it was healthy. (If you're reading this Addison, you have always been my creative rival that I respected more than anything for being the true Jack of All Trades when it came to arts and crafts. I was always so excited to see what you came up with and how it made me want to meet your quality of work.) I'm not sure if she ever felt that same zeal, but it's long gone now. We all work on the same creative projects so there's never really a chance for comparison. 

As a result I was on a successful streak for quite some time. I've never churned out so many drawings, videos, stories, crafts, etc. People were pretty impressed with my enthusiasm, but they never knew why I cared so much about what I did. That wasn't the important part, after all. So long as my nemesis knew that I was onto them, it didn't matter to me that nobody else knew where this motivation was coming from. 

So as you can see, having an academic or creative rival bred wonderful personal achievements. I was in my peak mindset to make impressive things that I actually felt proud of because I had not only finished something but also did it with enthusiasm. I could feel it in my bones that I was creating with purpose. You could absolutely see it in my work. It glowed with something intangible that could only be found in the most passionate of projects. Even if now, they don't seem so impressive, I still envy the initiative I had when I was younger to even go through with something to completion. Where had it gone?

I kept asking myself that. Where had it gone? Why was I suddenly so lost in the creative realm that I used to navigate with such expertise that I practically lived in it? I hadn't occurred to me for years what I was missing. I always knew that I wasn't motivated, but it didn't make sense. 

Of course I still make stuff. I love making stuff! Unfortunately it has gotten a lot harder for me to make things I really feel excited about. Most of the time I end up stopping halfway and asking, "Why am I doing this? I am only making this because I feel like I should. I don't really want to be doing this right now." This SUCKS, obviously, because I used to enjoy creating. But nowadays it's been so hard to do anything that I don't need to do. 

And that's exactly it. I don't feel like I need to do it. I have no reason to! I don't feel particularly motivated to prove myself to anyone because I don't have anyone in my immediate vicinity to compete with! I miss the competition! 

Even as I write this now I feel like it has little purpose other than for my own personal entertainment. Is that a bad thing? Of course not, but considering that I haven't had any other reason to make stuff like this, it all starts to feel a little meaningless. I don't have anyone to share this with, I don't know people who want to do the same creative activities as me, what's the point? I almost didn't write this because I knew it was just me who'd read it. But then I figured there might be some people out there who are feeling the same way I am currently.

I'm here to prescribe to anyone searching for their productive spark back: make an arch nemesis. 

You can find them anywhere, but you'll most likely find them at school, at work, or in clubs dedicated to any specific topic you may feel inclined to immerse yourself with extensively. Something to look out for is pretention. The person you seek will have a sort of glint in their eye, a snarl in their smile, or a tone of voice that hints to you that they would kill to beat someone at their own game. They'll love the competition as much as you do. They'll love the attention. The obsession. Sometimes, they'll like it too much and beat themselves up if you do better than them. Don't become that person. Some advice for an arch nemesis; treat it as a game. That way if you lose, it doesn't feel like some great defeat but rather something you'd love to get back up and try again. You shouldn't ever hate your nemesis. And you shouldn't be cruel to them. Nobody minds some light teasing, but know when to stop. Otherwise, you'll end up making an enemy that's not out to do anything other than take you down. 

It might sound counterintuitive, but the goal is never actually to win against any particular person. That's not what you really want for yourself, and if that's what you get caught up in, your work won't be genuine. That's something else you must always remember. Do not lose yourself, for ANYONE, just to impress people. At your core, always be yourself and create things you truly care about. Consider this game a vessel through which you can finally achieve things you have always wanted to but never felt the drive to do.

An arch nemesis, though it may seem juvenile, is just the perfect amount of oddness you need in life to make it exciting. You don't actually suffer if your rival does something better than you. In fact, it should only make you want to create even more. You might eventually find that your rival becomes your friend when all is said and done. They will likely admire you for matching their level of passion for any given subject/craft. That's all anyone really wants, isn't it? Someone who loves the same things as you the same amount. Someone who can truly understand the value in something you can't find in many other people. So what's stopping you? Find that person that makes you want to become the best version of yourself you can be and get out there! And don't forget to play nice.. 

-M