MY BROTHER GOT ME CUT OUT OF THE WILL SO I BURNT THE HOUSE DOWN AND ENDED UP ON A FARM?????????????

so i was like in my room not really bothering anyone when i hear a loud noise and its this f***ing (fucking) rat (my brother) and he DROPPED THE TV THAT I HAD ON MY SHELF. im like dude what is wrong with you (like the song by clockrocks) and hes like oooooooopssss so i run to his room and throw his macbook out of the window and hes like what the hell MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM and im like omg shut up ur gonna get me in trouble so i grabbed him and threw him out of the window too and my mom came in and was like ?????????????? what happened

obviously she didnt see me throwing him out of the window so i said idk he was pranking us and she was like ohhh okay (if i had been the one doing the prank it wouldnt have been "okay" but okay whatever b***h (bitch))

so fast forward a few hours later im in my room and im like wow the mall looks really good rn so i got dressed packed my backpack with stuff or whatever and walked out but when i did i saw something next to ne??

i was kinda ignoring it but i heard it whisper my name and i was like wow the bushes are whispering my name thats kinda like slenderman or whatever IDK i think he was actually like for trees but bushes are in forests too(probably IDK ive never been in one) so i turn around like wow was that i look down and my brother is on the floor??? im like why r u still here r u dumb and hes like "im telling mom" and im like no ur not but he then yelled and both mom and dad came??? like kinda dramatic but ok

so my mom is like ugh sigh facepalm i cant believe u while my dad is telling me all this sh*t (shit) like oh you cant do this you are so inmature im so tired of you or whatever and im like okaayyyy can i go now BC my friends r at the mall waiting for me and they're like you know what from now on you are NOT WELCOME IN THIS HOUSE!!!! im like mom are you actually serious im like not even old enough to work at mcdonalds and my brothers like actually they lowered the age minimum to 7 because child labor is awesome and im like ohhhhh f*ck (fuck) 

so my mom and dad were like "we are cutting you out of the will. you are getting NO PENNIES from us when we die" and im like oh yeah we'll see about that BITCH (b*tch)

so anyway i went to the mall and bought a really cool shirt so that was cool i guess but some random kid tried to fight me over it because it was the last in stock which ur like 8 ur NOT using this more than 3 times in ur life

after going back i asked my friends hey so can you guys go and get petrol or whatever i'll pay you back  and they were like bitch what do you need 5 tanks of petrol for and im like i just have a really big barbeque okay

fast forward to like next day and i cover the whole house and im like FUCK i forgot to get matches so im like at the convenience store and that day the cute cashier guy was there so that was awesome and hes like "wow so ur like buying matches thats kinda cool what r u doing" and im like "im making a really big barbeque or whatever"

anyway so i come back and set it on fire and thats when i notice MY NEIGHBOR WAS WATCHING. shes like this old lady who gossips 24/7 which like same but im way younger so its fine when i do it,, one time i was chatting with a friend and i saw her come out of her door slowly to look at us like ho ur house is on the corner of the block ur not hearing shit anyway??

so yeah i saw that and i was like ohhh shit i gotta get out so i went back inside my house and pack my stuff in my backpack then leave while its still on fire or whatever im just hardcore like that

the firefighters took a while because it was 5 am and they were all asleep because there was never a fire in town like ever im surprised they even had government funding or something easily the most useless department in our town

when they arrived i was behind my neighbor's neighbor's fence watching and the old lady was telling them what happened so i was probably right about her being bad news. anyway a while later i took a bus and kinda got off at some random stop and im like wow a forest cool ive never been in one and i go in and theres this path and im like wow a forest path cool ive never walked on one so i followed it and it kinda took me to this really ugly rundown shop??? im like ew it looks like its about to fall apart and this random lady just pops out of it?? like this is in the middle of the woods HOW LONG HAS SHE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO GET THERE. o_0 anyway so she offered me coffee and im like thatd be super duper cool but im kinda broke right now and shes like oh no problem and she gave me the coffee anyway so that was really swag of her. anyway so the trees were like really close together and im like wow thats gay so i tried to get past like the one gap in the trees and kinda reached this random field and it was like wow so awesome

so anyway now im living in a farm outside of town or whatever and i didnt really get any money so either they were saying the truth or are still alive but i dont really care anyway because outskirts life actually ROCKS i have like 2 bedrooms because the farm owner is a really lonely old lady or something so yaaaaaaa fuck my brother basically

kinda sucks that theres no fucking signal here (even tho theres wifi??) so i cant call my friends to come hang out in here because theres some old ruins of some abandoned place and its MEGA COOL  so yeah thats also my brothers fault fuck him. i tried to text them but most of the time the connection gets cut off for like 3 days so i still havent been able to tell them anyways because i go "omg guys u have no idea what happened" 3 days later "omg sorry that was my wifi" then 3 days later again "omg it cut off again wait" AND I CANT SEND IT BECAUSE I CAN ONLY SEND LIKE 1 OR 2 MESSAGES PER WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah none of this wouldve happened if my brother didnt snitch on me throwing him out of the window

will keep u guys updated probably