Farewell, Shan Cai...

I remember when I was in elementary, I had to come home early every afternoon after school because I did not want to miss the episodes of Meteor Garden. Me and my mom (and sometimes my dad) would watch it together. It was a fantastic series because Shan Cai (played by Barbie Hsu) was very relatable to me as a character who was an only child and had to encounter challenges in life and in school. I also remember buying laminated stickers of her with the F4 whenever I had the chance and the money to keep as remembrance or souvenirs. Her character somehow affected me as a queer and as a person dealing with pressure as an only child and as someone who tries his best to hide what he's feeling.

Shan Cai taught me that despite being less fortunate in life, you still have a choice to be happy and to be contented with what you have as long as you have friends and a family who will always be there for you. And if the universe is not in your favor, you just have to go to the rooftop of a building and scream out all of your frustrations, burdens, insecurities, and shortcomings as loud as you can in order to lighten up your soul and make free space in your heart and mind again to accept a new set of challenges in the next page of your life. Shan Cai, you are one of my inspirations... I even gave my cousin her nickname, "Sansai", though her real name is Valerie, because that's how I idolize you back then and until now.

My heart goes out to your family, your children, and to all the fans who have been with you since day 1. You will always be remembered as the strong-willed daughter and courageous schoolgirl who did not turn her back from intimidation and bullying. Barbie Hsu, may you rest in power and know that you will always be the Shan Cai that we loved and rooted for. Thank you and farewell.