Today I’m giving myself permission to be disheartened by life.

 Sometimes, we keep pushing everything in life, hoping for things to happen and we don’t even realize it. Unaware of the harm we’re causing ourselves, not knowing how to take care of ourselves. Sometimes, a person loses their personal space and fails to notice it for a very long time. They don’t allow their soul the time to rest. Then, they burn out. Booomm...

  Today, I’m giving myself permission to be disheartened by life. I’ll spend the whole day just lying down, as if I’m doing nothing for myself. But in reality, I’m gathering myself back together, actually. There was a time when I couldn’t sleep because of the pain in my neck,shoulders. All my burdens weighed on that spots, and while doing the exercises my doctor gave me beacuse of the pain, I realized something. I was crying as I did them. At that moment, it hit me again—I have no safe harbor. I have no harbor. When warmth touches my face and body in the cold, I find it strange. I try not to get used to it because, sooner or later, I watch the fire consume yet another harbor, one I wanted to trust.

 I feel at home, yet I’m not. I tell myself I’m comfortable, yet I feel my soul suffocating to its core. Sometimes, I just want to escape. To places where I have vast spaces for myself, where I can spend long hours alone, where no one knows my name. Sometimes, these feelings seem ridiculous to me, and I wonder—am I exaggerating things???

Maybe my soul just needs to rest. If you’re reading this and feeling the same suffocating weight, allow yourself a day to simply exist. Just simply exist. Watch your favorite videos, shows, or movies. Eat the sweets you hesitate to indulge in, thinking you’ll regret it later. Ignore the feeling that lying down for hours is somehow wrong—just rest. Listen to nature, do the things you love. Show kindness to animals. Read that book you’ve been meaning to. Do something good for your soul. :)

I am new here, and today I just wanted to vent. 

I wish you a nice day, perfect life, perfect harbors to trust for-ever, and warmth.

Angy.