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My family ig?
so hi i wanted to post something here but tbh i have so much shit in general that i had no idea what to share but lately something's bothering tf outta me.
So basically my dad has been cheating on my mom for a pretty long time and he's been caught twice. She's gone into severe depression because of him but lately she's doing good. The fact that my dad said he'd stop but he still goes to meet his gf to ANOTHER COUNTRY saying "it's work" is only known by me(i came to know it by accident and he doesn't know that i know). Now the real problem is that he has been a perfect father to me. My mom became very harsh on me and my dad was the only one who supported me for achieving my dreams and literally everything that a normal dad does. I love my mom fs but i love my dad too and i chose not to tell my mom anything rn since i was scared how things would end up.
Am i the asshole for keeping my dad's secret a secret? Does this make me his partner in crime even tho i hate the fact that my family is falling apart? I sometimes think of spilling it but then i think of what would happen to us if i tell her.
Am I The Asshole for keeping my Dad’s secret a secret? (#2)
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georgia. ☆
somethin in the between tbh. youre their child, and you know this, but your mothers been put through a real rough time because of your father. you said it yourself, youve seen it first hand. i completely understand that your fathers support and normalicy is invaluable to you- but being that he has been the cause of your mothers depression and issues, there is absolutely no room to compare the two of them.
your fathers good to you, but hes also getting everything that he wants right now. your mothers perhaps harsher, and less well adjusted- but shes living in fear and open wounds.
do not let yourself hold your mothers hurting against her, put the ones you love infront of yourself, tell your mother and encourage her to end this marriage. if your father real loves you, which i have no doubt that he does, he will not hold a grudge against you. dont let your fathers misdeeds hurt you and your mothers relationship any more than it already has.
auroraaa
I'm sorry you have this big secret that you can't tell but I've been in a cheating situation. I'd rather be told that someone is cheating on me than had it been kept a secret. I know it's hard to hear but maybe your parents weren't meant to be together forever. My parents were very toxic and broke up and they're both happier apart. It's good of you for asking for help. But also remember, it's their relationship. Don't let your Dad blame you for telling if you do. He made the mistake. Your the child here.
Best of wishes to you xx
Beanz!!!
nta
Neapolitanbby
I mean personally, I would say no. you're their child, and their relationship isn't your responsibility (although i understand it may very well feel that way) ... I don't think you should blame yourself for your father being a mediocre husband.
However, as someone whose parents recently split, I would say, sometimes parents being separate would definitely be the happier outcome than them staying together in a toxic, dysfunctional family unit.
do with my opinion what you will~ <3 much love, I hope things work out for you.
SamIRL
YTA, but also NTA...
Tell your mom
By this i mean YTA, but I understand why it's a hard decision
by SamIRL; ; Report
Raquel🌈
... I don't know, to be honest. like you are but you aren't? Like it's messed up that you're withholding this info from your mom but you also don't want to screw your dad over since he's had your back but also really gross that he's cheating. It just sounds like you got caught in the crossfire and now you're stuck on what to do. I grew up in a dysfunctional household too so I understand where you're coming. Maybe have a talk with your dad first and see if you can have him work things out with your mom or the whole situation in general??
DonQuixote
Your dad is your flesh and blood its only natural to want to protect him. NTA however, the mom should still know. Preventing her the knowledge would make u the ass.
cyberDecay
YTA... I understand its hard, but still