02/2025 log

Sup Chumpz,

here's the february log

updated as the days go by.

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02/01/25

I really should not be allowed to stay up at night. Last night was horrible. How can a person truly live alone and what makes them decide to wake up to another day?

I have a dog and a lover yet I find myself utterly hopeless. I really can't find anything in life to live for anymore. I thought it was art but now I'm not so sure anymore.

On that note, my boyfriend has urged me and I've done so, to email a therapist.

Today we cleaned, my boyfriend helped me organize my art supplies and tech. My friends said they can't come over because of course, we had covid—so it's understandable.

I don't feel too much like shit today, I think because I remembered to take my celexa. I want to email my psychiatrist to up it and to tell him that I have stopped my mood stabs.

I made brownies, he's making steak with rice.

02/3/25

I made myself some wings and fries. Today feels not that bad. I still can't bring myself to go out by myself. What's wrong with me? lol.

02/15/25

Yesterday was my mother's birthday and valentine's day. Really cute combo for her.

I haven't been on because I had to go take care of things. I have new beauty products from Japan. I also have tea, cheesecake, and biscuits from there.

My parents went and my mom asked me what I wanted from the game merch stores but they didn't have Namco and I don't play a lot of Street Fighter. Mom couldn't find Kakashi in the Shonen Jump store so, yeah, I'd rather not waste money getting whatever.

I had a lot of reflecting while away too. I feel a bit more at peace. It's really all about practicing how to regulate and cope. It sounds too corny to be true but I'm desperate to get better.

With chill,