what should i do ??? ( ´△｀)

hi, i might delete this soon but i also just need to get this off of my chest because i dont have anyone else i can talk to about it . so im in a type of... program? type thingy in my band, except its not really in band but whatever whatever i wont go into detail!!! so, its completely optional and cost a lot of money. we went through all the warnings, no refunds or anything, full dedication and all that stuff! so, despite being a strugglign freshman already, i signed up because i wanted to be seen as a freshman who could step out of her comfort zone and be special. i already missed two different band opportunities because i was extremely stressed with everything else, so i decided that that was two too many. that was a lie. its been stressful. its not really the music part thats been stressful, but moreso of the attending rehearsals and all of that stuff because of being sick or not feeling good. i want out, and they want me out too. the thing is that i cant, because when i asked my parents they said no because it was a ton of money, which i understand completely. i talked with my director and he said it was optional and i could leave if i wanted to, but as far as i know even with me wanting to leave thatd just be money down the drain and my parents will most likely not let me leave no matter what. i have to deal with this by next week or else the next time i go in that rehearsal room im either gonna get kicked out while im in there or its just gonna be really awkward and just thinking about that makes me wanna cry. i would like to leave on my own terms every time because every time i dont i end up crying a lot in the building even if i knew it was gonna happen beforehand, and i never want that to happen again. what do i do im conflicted and i know they wont hear me out!!!!! im aware its my fault and i got myself into this and i should deal with the consequences but i just feel so stuck.