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being on this website feels like being in a secret club, only a few knows about it. i like being in this club,  i adore it, i live for it. this takes me back to that one time, although id rather not elaborate on my personal situation, all I could say is that it feels like this. a person that i am, known for expressing everything that envelops her being, feels secured and safe here. as if im an animal, being butchered, but my heart is kept. my heart, the true determiner of my soul. it was never the brain, although i sometimes hope it was. only then i wouldn't have to suffer much. no one i know has to know about this. it's just between you and me. can you keep this unknown? i trust in you. so long.