I LOVE CUTTING WEIRD PEOPLE OUT OF MY AWESOME LIFE

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Hi Trav. Just now seeing this is like salt on a wound to be fair. And leaving a comment is insane. But I am pretty insane and you may never see this. There’s so many things going through my head that I want to say. But first off I am sorry. I know that isn’t much or could mean anything but I truly am. You know I was hurting too. More than I even thought. We both were. I can’t believe it’s been 8 months. But ima explain myself because honestly it hurts me a lot to know that’s how you feel about me after everything. I was a dick. I do seriously also apologize for ever trying to get you to do anything. But I too come from a family of addiction honestly at the time I didn’t care but now looking back I should have we are more alike than you think I wish I let you see that. I was so in love with you. Not romantically. Not sexually. But like so platonically. I wanted to do and be with you no matter the cost. Even if it cost me my soul. I never stopped thinking about you. To this day I still cry sometimes at nights. Wake up some mornings. You are still on my mind. You were so good in my messed up life. I never would have assaulted you. Honestly I don’t know half the things I said together when we were drunk because every time I would go really out of it just so you could see me for once. I thought that was the only way. But no I would never maybe that’s isn’t much but honestly I can’t even imagine myself even having sex but that’s not the topic lol. Now Travis. I am genuinely from the innards of my core so sorry. But I did NOT sui bait you. Initially I was a little angry I’ll be honest because I genuinely remember the times I tried. Sometimes I think I should have. I know it’s wrong after everything. But that look on your face whenever I was around you after. I knew I should have but I couldn’t. I said nasty things to you. Been a nasty person. And all of it was catching up now. Slowly leaving. And I went insane. Maybe too much now looking back. But it was like losing a brother to me. But even when I tried to end my own life I thought of you. You were and still are my favorite person I have ever met. And I changed so much because of you. Not that you care but I have gotten better. A LOT better. And seeing that left a bitter taste to my mouth. And so I thought maybe writing it out in the comments would help me. I don’t know im an idiot you know that. You know what’s funny. I spent four months straight everyday during gym, english, math, and study hall writing letters. Yeah letters. I wanted to perfect it. To put my soul on a page and show you my heart and love. Until I saw this. I wish I never threw them away. Like how I did you. Maybe in another life we would’ve been able to go to Germany.

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1.I want a full on backstory on your drama (I am a very nosy boy.)

2. You look so pretty like wtf?? (How)

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