Best friends - first blog

Entering sophomore year- I walked in confidently. With a goal to not be as shy, and to make more friends than the years prior. I started going up to random people I only talked to one or two times before , asking for their numbers and hanging out with them one or two times, saying yes to party invitations (which I now later regret; parties suck, people are weird) , etc. Just being more extroverted. I decided to give everyone a chance, who knows maybe we could become good friends or even more? I just wanted to meet more people. “Expand my horizons” if you will. 

While yes, I made friends freshman year, they were always friends of friends. That doesn't mean they didn’t mean a lot to me, but we weren’t close. I knew they didn’t see me as their close friend. These friends- I always felt out of place. While we had similar interests, humor, and beliefs, I felt as if they weren’t my kind of people. I still love them, I wouldn’t be the person I am without one of them. But I always knew they weren’t going to last beyond high school.

Along with starting a new school year, came new classes. I started taking my second year of Spanish. (side note: I’m horrible at it, don’t ask me anything, I’ve learned nothing) With my new ‘meet new people, make new friends, talk more than last year’ mindset, I recognized a girl I took Spanish with my freshman year. I didn’t know much except she was loud, never showed up to class, and overall not my kind of person. (Me being shy and to myself) However, I didn’t want to be that shy girl who never spoke anymore, so we started talking. 

Funny enough, she thought I hated her. She felt I was giving her dirty looks and judging her last year. I never even talked to this girl, so I had no idea why someone I saw as so confident and outgoing could question herself because someone wouldn’t talk to her. We started to get to know each other more, having lunch together, skipping class together, and sharing opinions. While she was like none of my friends before, we didn’t share any interests on the surface, (though I know we do now) I felt as though she was the coolest person I've met. We just clicked. She felt like the kind of person I was craving for last year; exciting and unapologetic, standing up for herself.

These last two months, we’ve hung out more, outside of school, going places together. Something I hadn’t done since my last best friend. Which ended badly. Though we are friends again now, we’ve had our ups and downs, we’ll never in a million years be what we used to be. We are two completely different people now, which I have peace with. We now just talk on the bus, which I’ll miss once it’s over I’m sure cause then we’ll probably forever go our separate ways. Anyways, she felt the same way. Telling me she hasn’t hung out with someone like this since middle school. She’s also talked to me about us still being friends after high school, which I haven’t talked with someone about since my last best friend I mentioned. 

I met her sister the other day, like for real, talking with her. She tells me I’m her favorite friend her sister has brought home, and we should all hang out together soon. And then it hits me- I don’t need all these friends, to not be shy, all this ‘having to make the best of my high school years’. I just wanted a best friend. To be with someone genuine and not have to worry about being anyone else but myself, someone I can tell everything to, do fun things with, to go everywhere with, to not have to worry about being too annoying or seeing them too much because she wants to see me just as much. Which I’ve realized- I see this girl as my best friend and someone I want to be best friends with hopefully for a long time.