If I were to see you again this is what My heart would tell you.

My obsession with you was like a silver knife stabbing me in my chest. And now, you’ve disappeared from my thoughts. My heart leaks of blood knowing you’re gone, but it no longer kills me.

You weren’t the only person I could love. There are others—people who could take your place. But I still wish I had been the missing puzzle piece to your heart. And even if I wasn’t, I would have carved a piece of myself to fit. That level of giving, to me, is more powerful than already belonging. To be with you, I would have broken, reshaped, and eroded myself until I became the love you sought for, so desperately needed. But love is an inevitable doom. The more we changed, the more we drifted. The pieces never broke, yet they no longer fit together. And that's okay-it's beautiful that we've grown. Still, it saddens me that we couldn't grow together, that our lives couldn't collide and spin in planetary beauty. 

I wish you had the same desire for me that I had for you. But you didn’t —you didn’t want to deal with the insufferable pain of loving me. I wanted to be a part of your life in a way that mattered, to give you unconditional love, not because I wanted you to have it, but because it made me happy to see you smile. Your eyes glittering with excitement—was enough for me to be happy.

This selfishness of loving you… all I ever wanted was for you to give it back. I wish you had been angry that we couldn’t have each other’s hearts. I wish you had been crushed the way I was. Because losing you felt like losing someone I had known my whole life, even though our time together was brief. It was fleeting, yet it felt like an eternity.

I wanted more. I wanted to learn from you, to grow with you, even if it meant suffering. Because love—real love—should be hard. It should be something you work for. And I was willing to work for it.

I hope that when you meet the next person, they give you everything I couldn’t. And when that person steps forward from the darkness, stay. Listen. Observe. Admire the love they have for you. Because you deserve a soul who will be the shadow to your light.