Fake Friends: Food For Thought

I love reading stories about people dissing their fake friends and wanted to share some of mine, lol! 

I'm in middle school. Our lunch period has just begun. Our entire grade is gathered in the cafeteria as we listen to our Principal do the weekly announcements before we can grab our meal. I’m at a table with like 5 of my friends. As we are sitting there intentively listening, I start to feel my nose run a little. I do a subtle wipe and see blood! Then my nose starts bleeding… BAD! ‘Till this day, this was still the worst nosebleed I have ever experienced. 

The room was full and quiet. The last thing I wanted was to abruptly end everyone’s trance and see all the blood. Admittedly, I was happy that my silent struggle went unnoticed. I didn’t want it to be a whole thing, no questions or jokes. So there I quietly sat for the next few minutes, hands cupped to my face, holding a pool of my blood, trying to keep my cool.

As soon as the speech was over, we started lining up to get our lunch. I RAN to the bathroom while blood started dripping down my arms while everyone was distracted. 

For a while, I was stuck bleeding over the toilet, dazed and confused about what to do. I wanted to lean my head back, but I couldn’t sit down and felt very dizzy. I swear it looked like a fight scene went down. I made a bloody mess and went through so much toilet paper trying to clean up the stall. Minutes go by before I start to wonder why none of my friends who were at my table had come to check on me. 

After what seems like forever, I walk out of the bathroom with a huge wad of toilet paper up to my face. I see my friends lining up to get their lunch. 

I go over to one of my “best” friends. She notices the ball of toilet paper but doesn’t inquire any further. I asked if she could please walk me up to the nurse’s office. She immediately looks hesitant and takes a pause. She looks at me, then towards the kitchen, then back to me and says, “But… food”. 

I‘m sorry??? Am I delirious from all the blood loss or did this bitch seriously choose school lunch over helping her friend?

Yes, folks. She chose food rather than help me up a flight of stairs to the nurse! As if the school would run out of food by the time she got back! As if her wafer-thin ass was going to starve if she didn’t immediately eat!! Mind you, she was one of those people who thought it was quirky to obsess over food all the time, and she wouldn’t shut up about how lucky she was she never gained weight from eating. ‘FoOd iS LiFe” was half of her personality. 

So I stand there for a good three seconds just staring at her. Our other friend, who was standing next to her in line, was also baffled by her two-word response. Thankfully, he stepped up and took me up to the nurse, and he made sure I was okay to stay there before heading back down to get his lunch. “What a good friend you have there,” said the nurse. I promptly got him some cookies afterward.

Anyway, by the end of the day, my girl “friend” was all “Oh my god, I didn’t know how bad it was! Are you okay?” 

She and I stayed friends for another year until we went our separate ways and to different high schools. Thank god. When I think about her today, all I remember is how we bonded over liking one direction and the vampire diaries. And that she loved food. She was nice, but that moment was a bit jarring, lol. 

I would have been less hurt if it were some fine dining experience that she couldn't risk stepping away from… but for a dry-ass chicken patty with milk? Strange priorities, indeed.

Never forget to take into account when people show their true colors by the way. 

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lmao this was fun! I can think of a few more similar stories to share about fake friends if you guys are interested! Lmk what you think!

xoxo