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first project of the year. decided earlier this month to make at least one project per month, as i continue to procrastinate on long term projects.
this month it's an experimental short, shot on a vivitar vivicam f314 (why it looks like it was shot on a piece of paper), and audio from my phone and my zoom + rode -- all self shot, during a trip home this winter and some audio from a couple years ago.
i was thinking a lot during this most recent trip back home about what would have happened if i stayed home instead of leaving for uni, and where i might be now if i had -- and if there's a version in another universe of me who stayed, who wonders about me.
i was planning originally on making the video have a short narration, but everything i was writing felt like pretentious horseshit, so i'm just letting the audio do the talking (i am not a sound engineer by any means).
for those interested, the sounds in the video are a recording of a log fire, and loon calls. to me, the calls were kind of supposed to be the pull towards home, getting more and more intense as time goes on, but it might be something different to others, or it might just be staring at a screen and being bored and listening to birds for two minutes and thinking that was bad. and that's cool, i'm just glad i actually cobbled something together
anyways if anyone actually sees this and watches it lmk what it made you think of, i'm curious
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jay.
this is gorgeous! as someone who grew up in the midwest us and now lives on the west coast, it had a very familiar feel to my home movies--the fire makes me think of that bittersweet "you can never really go back" feeling, but maybe that's because my favorite hometown restaurant burned down years ago. (it got rebuilt, but it was under new management and was never the same).
honestly i'd be interested to hear what your pretentious narration was about, ;p
thank you! i'm also from the midwest, currently studying internationally, and over time my relationship with home has changed A LOT -- this trip was sort of the first time i could see myself coming back, but also trying to grapple with reality vs. memory
and as for the narration stuff haha it was inspired quite a bit by my first ever playthrough of "life is strange" while home for the holidays, and also the general feelings of wanting to go back home, i read something online about how people who want to move back home often just want to go back in time and that stuck with me! so just a lot of stuff about alternate universes and different versions of myself, and wondering if the me that stayed would think about what could have happened if she left.
what i wrote never really found a cohesive story/structure (at least within the month's deadline), and i started overthinking it i think haha.
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that makes a lot of sense with the title, yeah. my mom really wanted me to move back to the midwest during the early pandemic, and i actually strongly considered it. glad i didn't in the end, but i do think of how different it would've made the last 5 years. (my brother ended up moving 30 minutes away from her, so now that she's got one adult kid nearby she hasn't been so focused on getting me back home haha)
by jay.; ; Report