I'm losing my fucking mind

I can't do this anymore. I wanna fucking die dude I can't take this fucking shit anymore. Just way too fucking much is going on and I just wanna be fucking dead. Slit my throat and bleed out on the floor. I'm not fucking ok, i'm the complete fucking opposite. My pocketknife whispers to me every time I pass it, like a fucking voice in my head. I've been so tempted to just pull the knife when I press it on my wrists and arms. Just fucking kill me already. Why the fuck would you do this to me god. Is this some sort of sick fucking joke?