01/29/2025

Last weekend I had some great experiences. After almost a year I finally went to a waterfall. It may not seem like a big deal, but for me it's almost mystical. It was actually a family tradition. My parents used to go camping at least once a year before they got married, and it continued like that when my sister and I were born. Like, my mom always tells me how my sister and I were "made" in a specific city where we used to go camping more often.

I've literally been camping since I was 2 months old, so I don't know what my life would be like without it. But about 2 years before the pandemic started, these camping trips started to be less and less frequent for various reasons, until it had been years since I'd stepped foot in a forest or swam in a waterfall. You know, one of my great passions has always been swimming, and since where I live there are no beaches and my family never used to go to aquatic clubs, it was really hard to go so long without it.

Well, I didn't really camp that weekend, but my parents and sister and I went to the waterfall really early and got back around 5:30, which was good.

It's weird how things change, isn't it? You know that little town I mentioned? We can't go there anymore, which is a shame, since most of my camping memories are from there. I remember one time, I think I was about 7 years old, when we spent 12 days in a row camping in that place, lol. Well, a few years ago the place was vandalized and several robberies started happening, and the local government had to prohibit camping in the area. The last time I spent the day there, when entrance was still free (now we have to pay 30 reais per person to enter the area and we have to leave before 6 pm), I saw what they did to the place, it was completely different. The lakes and waterfalls I used to swim in were almost dry, and some that used to be up to my neck were now up to my belly, probably due to climate change. The big rocks I used to climb to watch the sunset were covered in graffiti. I really like some graffiti in big cities, but man, have the common sense not to do it in the middle of the woods!

Anyway, it's a shame I can't go to this place anymore, but it's okay, there are still other good places to go anyway.

I think visiting this waterfall was a way to visit my old self, in better times, you know? Lately I've been taking advantage of this vacation to "isolate" myself from my friends and colleagues, and it's doing me a lot of good. I feel like I'm becoming a little more the person I want to be, and not the person I've become for others. I also have some friends who have very toxic traits, traits that over time have become my own traits as well. So I'm using this time alone to shield myself a little, try to become less impressionable and follow my own principles. I've also been practicing some of my favorite hobbies that I used to avoid doing and talking about because I was embarrassed about them, because they were considered "cringe" (gosh, how I hate that word) or old-fashioned by my "friends". I'm also slowly losing my social anxiety. It's really hard, I'm not going to lie, especially without any professional help. But little by little I'm "letting myself go" more, and now I can even talk to strangers on the street to ask for directions or order a coffee at the bakery all by myself!! lol

Yeah, for some this is stupidly normal, but for me it's a huge achievement.

Well, thanks for listening to me, sorry if that seemed confusing lol