Emotional

Lately I've realized that I have become so emotional. And it is such a weird feeling. 

2-3 years ago I was in a really dark time in my life, and I remember that I was so numb and basically a hater of everything. I tried so hard to feel empathy, but I just couldn't.  Last year I was absolutely feeling much better. But I didn't really care about the outside world. Since I started going to my current school and met my great firends I've realized how emotional I have become. 

One of my friends, probably my favourite is always close to crying. When watching a movie or anything like that and I've started to feel the same. I cry at any sad video or scene. Well, it feels like I'm gonna cry, most of the time it gets stuck in my throat. 

I wonder if this is who I really am, if I'm actually a very empathic and emotional person or if I just started to be like this because my friends are. My parents were very angry when I was growing up so I guess I have learned to hide my feelings and as I got older I got really angry at them back. And I guess that when I tried to survive, I decided that my emotions were not worth wasting energy on, and especially things that didn't have anything to do with me. I just realized that I sound very selfish, but it is hard to explain if you haven't been in the situation. 

Maybe this is who I really am and I just feel safe enough to show it to my friends. But it doesn't feel like me, the person I know. But when I think about it, I remember my sister singing for me when I was little and I started crying so bad because I thought it was sad for some reason. So I guess that I've been emotional before I forced myself to not be. 

(Just a little rant while waiting in school.)