A night's so boring I could die (but not really)

Do you know that kind of boredom that creeps into your bones? Like a spider slowly weaving its web, but instead of catching bugs, it’s trapping your very soul? Yeah, that’s tonight.

It started with nothing. Literally nothing. I was sitting there, staring at the wall, wondering if the crack in the corner looked like a rabbit or a very ugly bird. (It’s a bird, by the way. I named it Frederick.) After that thrilling discovery, I tried to entertain myself by spinning a knife on the table, but then it fell, and I couldn’t be bothered to pick it up.

So I thought, okay, maybe music will help. Put on some Katy Perry. Firework comes on. Did I feel like a plastic bag? No. Did I feel like floating through the wind? Still no. But the song played, so danced. I felt judged. but whatever. Shadows don’t have opinions.

Then came the truly desperate phase: I looked for a doll to talk to. Couldn’t find one. Considered making a friend out of some socks and a button, but that felt a little too sad, even for me.

Now here I am, lying on the floor, contemplating existence and wondering if I can somehow will something exciting to happen. Will the ceiling cave in? Will a ghost appear? Will the ugly bird crack finally evolve into something better? WHO KNOWS.

Anyway, that’s the update from my very boring, incredibly uneventful night. Frederick the Bird says hi.