My Experiences with the Amish

Once, I had a pair of Crocs so fucked up and epic that an amish little girl grabbed scissors and started hitting her mom with them. That's not where my experiences end. 

For someone who doesn't live in Pennsylvania, I have a lot of contact with the Amish. Two or three villages are within buggy range so I see them probably twice a month (weekly in the summer). And let me tell ya, they are some crazy characters!

--

Two summers ago, my neighbor was having work done on her roof by an Amish man, and it was blistering hot out. So I made him some pink lemonade (it's the only kind we had) and he was super happy albeit confused by the color. I told him about the weather forecast because he didn't know we could even predict that. He was just amazed. A few days later he brought his son with him and let him play in the road. 

--

I often ride public transport because I don't have a car or a license yet, and neither do the Amish. Once there was a gaggle of Amish teen girls looking at me and whispering and giggling. Never in my life had I felt like the freaky kid on a teen sitcom. 

--

Outside of a Family Dollar, an Amish guy and his teenage son were getting back into their buggy with a conspicuous amount of cough syrup. I asked them what model their horse was, they got confused. The dad asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no. I asked them what their Facebook was and the dad laughed and said "Oh, that's too much drama!" 

--

In a thrift store, I saw an awkward Amish teen boy buying Scrabble and I flirted with him a little bit. He got extremely nervous and went to go wait in the buggy.