Um idk anymore

Like I'm bored AF I have nun to do feels like the person I love the most in the world doesn't love me back idk y he bearly talks to me anymore he cussed me out he said I was getting on his nerves just because I said sorry I was crying on and off the past day I don't wanna loose him again I'm scared he might hate me but idk y is it cuz I'm too fat or to ugly or annoying and he keeps calling other girls hot like in there 20s one is a skinny blonde with blue eyes and a cheerleader I wish I looked like her so he will find me hot but yea I bearly ate I think my Eating disorder is back I love him more than anything idk what I did to him pls tell me what to do