quitting social media and my relationship with it

this post is basically a journal, it is NOT profesional advice and its basically just documenting my relationship with social media and the effects it has had on me, what worked for me might not work for you. 

so for context every year since like 2019 i've basically had this month where i get rid of socials besides at the time like tiktok and discord, my brain craved that short form dopamine, it was nice, it felt right but once the specific month period was over i'd go straight back.

feeling bad - rinse and repeat until start of 2024 when i hit a snag w some seasonal depresh which was new for me especially for like 2-3 months and i just kept wondering what could be causing it and for the life of me could not figure it out, eventually i ruled it down to feeling lonely, now the logical solution would be like "easy! just gotta socialise more" ha, nope, it turns out online intereaction /= face to face (who thought!) and i basically slowly realised how much time i spent inside and the toll it had taken on me, gaining weight and my health etc. 

realisation - i was tired, of what? i wasnt sure yet but i knew i was tired until i slowly realised, "why do i give a crap about what others are up to? it doesn't benefit me, im tired of listening to others yap about their issues, i got mine going on" 

baby steps - so in may 2024 i dialed it back on discord, left a bunch of servers and kept to like one server with some friends and that felt nice,  my brain felt calmer and less cluttered. fast forward to august 2024 my brain felt cluttered again, why? because i went from one "stress" to another so i decided maybe it's time i step off discord, i spent way too many hours on it and realised what do i got to show for all these years? nothing and so went my account, i knew just deleting the app wont be enough because what'd stop me from getting it back so i got rid of the entire account, no going back now (plus someone said i'll be back and this is purely for attention so i suppose that was also a bit of a middle finger to them also LMAO) 

short form content - this "declutter" method seemed to work so in oct 2024 i begun my yearly detox month expect this time tiktok had to go to, again spent so many hours on it with nothing to show.

the  first week was hell, i kept reaching for my phone every second when i had no stimulation, over and over again despite knowing tiktok aint on there and sort of realised how wired my brain was to just consume content, anyway it got less and less tempting to pick my phone up, the reflex slowly went away and by the time the month was over i thought "i dont wanna go back to being like that, basically a zombie" so as the months went i kept away from tiktok but now got into instagram reels ironically until i again realised im entering the same cycle again.

disconnecting for good - so in december 2024 i decided i dont want any of it anymore, i dont care anymore and i finally feel like i can miss out on stuff without feeling scared of being out the loop, it felt so freeing, like taking off a pair of tight shoes after a long day and that is when i decided i wanna make this feeling (hopefully) long term, i deleted my accounts on snap, twitter, tiktok, facebook and insta just to seal the deal really.

present and benefits - its (almost) february 2025 and i have to say;

 i've noticed my attention span go back to what it used to be, i can once again consume a full length movie, youtube video etc without feeling the need for extra stimulation every few minutes. 

i feel so much less anxious without being fed scary and sad news thru a funnel

i spend more time going on walks, reading or just sitting there doing nothing

i spend more time with my friends, it feels normal to have a phone call instead of just back to back texting, i see my friends face to face more often and im not glued to my phone, im actually present there mentally , not just physically

if you've been looking for a sign to unplug, this is it, do it. i'm 20, the last time i've been this off the internet was at 9 which funnily enough was the last time i felt stress free.