Art vs writing my life is changing and I'm not happy but im not sad (rant)

ive always been the art kid, i think my arts ok but for the amount of time I've been doing it my skills are lacking so bad and I'm only really able to make the same content over and over every time i try something new or try to learn it just dosent work. ive always planned to go to art school when i got older but for the last few months i just cant draw i feel no motivation to do so and when i did it was to d something way out of my skill level

i know what i can and cant do and even when i try it just ends with failure. i think I've finally hit the peak of my art journey which is sad since i haven't even started my last year of high-school

i have no passion towards making art anymore and i don't want to even talk about it or look at others peoples works I've switched all my efforts to journalling and writing which feels odd but i feel like i just cant stop writing it dosent matter what it about i just want to be writing all the time hate the idea of becoming an adult but i think im subconsciously maturing and all my delusions are leaving me making me think "realistically" and i hate it. i hate it because what i once based a lot of my identity with is gone but now i write and i love writing but I'm finding the involuntary switch so difficult. writing makes me feel free its not for an audience like art and it doent matter how terrible i am at writing while art even if im the only audience i still feel such a hate for my mediocre drawings