LIFE CHECK POINT HEHHEHE

Oh my goshhhh everything sucks rn. (눈‸눈)

I'm on a whole ass journey. I go to school, I skip lessons I can't stand, I LOVE MY FRIENDS but I wish I could hang out with my other friends more too (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀), I miss them. 

Two of my oldest friends are going to graduate highschool next year! It's madness! They're both a year older than me and I'm just stuck here stressing out about exams. ｡･ﾟ･(ﾉД｀)･ﾟ･｡

In my country if you don't pass a single exam in 10th grade, you don't get to pass(continue highschool). It's stressing me out so much, cause I CANNOT pay attention in math, it's brain pain! And if I don't pass I feel like I'm going to be a failure to my whole family. I don't even really care for myself I'm just so scared of being judged. I'm really really good at art, biology, english - I could do those things for a living but naturally no one cares! So naturally I'm sad about that(-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)

Don't tell anyone, but my dream is to not actually get a job and family but travel Europe and live in my car, perhaps with a few friends I make along the way! I don't need money or accommodation, I just want freedom(๑'ᴗ')ゞ, then I can give all my friends and family(who I love still) a big middle finger and just be AWAY! BUT that's just a dream... And right now I'm stuck... Here. 

Some good news... I'm starting to put myself first more! ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉﾞ I started taking care of my body more, restricting my sugar addiction, drinking SO MUCH WATERRRR, and sleeping more(still working on that hehe). I'm also getting more interested in skincare/makeup and clothes again! So I can confidently say that I'm on a... Glow up journey? Potentially? I hope and pray(´Ａ｀。

But other than that everything is MAD BORING! And by boring I mean no love interests |ω；｀)  THERE I SAID IT, I'M A STEREOTYPICAL TEEN GIRL. #notproudofit

One of my forementioned older friends, for the longest time now has been updating me on her love life and OH BOY. It feels like every other week she has someone falling for her and they relive a whole romance(to be fair she is GORGEOUS so I can understand where they all are coming from ('-'*)♪) but it feels like no one even winks my way... Boys AND girls, I'm not even that picky!!! 

My other friend has had an online boyfriend from Germany for like a few months now and he's coming to visit her on her birthday! And I'm just here.... Meming with to Tokyo Mew Mew pfp lol_(:3 」∠)_

But I'm responsible with it! I'm proud of it too, even if I did have any potential love interests(which I don't, let's be real) I know I'd have to get to know them WELL over the course of MONTHS or maybe YEARS before I even ENTERTAIN the idea of becoming a girlfriend... I know that's for the best and I've seen way too many of my friends' hearts being broken but MY GOSH is it boring... (눈‸눈)

I just want a messy high school love story that I can brag about to my friends... Isn't that too much to ask?????? Or maybe I'm just hormonal right now hah I don't know really. 

All I can do right now I cling to the hope that my future will be more fun and eventfull... 

Anyway, I'm staying up way too late writing this if you read this to the end thank you sm, perhaps you relate? 

Anyway good night! (*´▽｀)ﾉﾉ