Recent events made me realize a few things but also made me question even more

What made them so obtuse, so hostile and so uncaring? Never did I expect the level of ableism, acephobia, coldness, and cruelty that they demonstrated. Just some random thoughts I had:

When the disaster of a triad came to an end, maybe we should have ended then and there as well.

After their cousin assaulted me and they pressed about "I would understand if you broke up with me" or around then is when I now think they began plotting - plotting to force me to be the one to end it. Why?!

If they wanted to end things why the hell didn't they just say it? Why string me along for an additional year or two? Why be so cruel, intentionally trigger my cptsd, my autistic meltdown(s) and knowing how bad my health is, not seem to care that they were directly responsible for a huge increase in my blood pressure?

I thought they were an amazing nice person; and maybe at one point they were... but something happened. It wasn't fair at all what you did to me. We could have transitioned into a different living situation. We could have transitioned to friends, or a different dynamic. Instead they'd rather have tormented me mentally for 3 months straight; then act like I am such an evil asshole for getting sick of it and ending the relationship.

I knew them for 8 years, dated them for 6, and lived with them for 5. They were a big part of my life and the pain is still raw. But after recent events, clearly I was not as important to them. They're able to live on like nothing happened. If I died tomorrow they'd probably be happy. I trusted this person with my life. Never again.

You abandoned me because I didn't want to have sex as much. I would later find out shortly afterwards I am at times sex repulsed. I am all over the ace spectrum. Or you abandoned me because I became more disabled. Which is the last thing I ever expected out of you. Thats what the facts equate to. Thats what your actions showed me. 8 years... you were an entirely different person around me it seems.

As for the next life? lol. In due time that link will likely be severed.... unless something very significant moves me to voluntarily change my mind...

As for the two "friends" that were my friends first... one of whom I knew before that relationship.... fuck both of you. 

[Disclaimer: This is a journal entry of my thoughts, based upon my perception. It is not intended to be a representation of actual or perceived events for anyone's benefit. This is intended to be an outlet for my own thoughts only and should not be used as a representation of facts. 

If you feel you are the person I am describing in this journal entry, STOP STALKING MY STUFF :) ]