⭑.ᐟ Starting Year 10 with crippling social anxiety !! [rant]

Hi !! (*´▽`*) 

I'm starting year 10 in TWO days and I have rather crippling social anxiety that's going to make the whole "new year new me" process a TADDD complicated. Due to a plethora of unfortunate events unfolding last year, many people in my year level [including my old BEST friend] have some form of resentment towards me.

Speaking of last year, I had to skip every science and homeroom lesson for the last 2 months of school due to my social anxiety. And I find it crudely comical in a way because when you say you have social anxiety, people's first reaction is to think/say "no ! No one hates you it's all in your head !!", but in my case, people DO hate me.

Now before you go ahead and assume I'm thinking the worst, there's this guy, let's call him 1D [one direction is his code name irl], and 1D told his bsf [we will call this one Kanye] that NO ONE in my old homeroom liked me.

WHY ??? IDFK IM TRYING TO FIGURE THAT SHIT OUT TOO

But it's a good thing I'm in a new homeroom this year !!

Recently, I've been getting nightmares about school and my old best friend [her name for this will be loan], and they have all had unpleasant endings. Opening my school emails made me physically start shaking yesterday, but there is nothing I can really do about it because it's not like i can drop out of high school because why the fart would I do that ??

But HOPEFULLY it will turn out alright for me !! Because if not i have to resort to plan B and that wouldn't be sigma !!

Anyways, as always, lots and lots and lots of love - skeever (˶°ㅁ°)!!