what'll you do when you cant count the horse's teeth?

God, life is so shitty. I barely even want to go outside anymore. Growing up feels like a chore and nothing takes my mind off anything. My home life is shit, school grades are shit, and I'm a really boring guy. My free  time contains talking to my boyfriend, cooking and cleaning. Those are basically my hobbies now it's actually deafening. Politics is in ruins and I know our states are going to utter hell. I don't want to die, though. I guess life is about continuing, it's not about strong and weak, not really. Everything's fucked. I can't escape this house, and I feel trapped in every aspect of life. Everyone is treating me like shit lately and it's not even like I'm even safe in my own head really because of my fucking mental issues. The world is fucking ending and there's nothing I can do. I'm just a kid, I'm no-one important. All I can do is be there for the ones I love. I wish my head wasn't filled with such hate. I just wanna be able to live. Let me skip to the good part where I'm resting my head next to my husband, I've changed my name and even fled the country if I have to, and I take it all with me. Maybe I get a good dog, with my ideal career. It's not like I'm stupid, I' just different, and the American school systems don't accommodate for people like myself. Whatever, eat the rich, learn to forage and hunt, protect yourself, get local maps and try to stay as safe as you can, many places are being hit with fascism. Love to you all, and keep the hope even when it's all hopeless. 

- M